Didn't Know I Was Lost...-Charmed, prompt # 57 for fanfic100

[tommygirl]

Title: Didn’t Know I Was Lost ‘Til You Found Me
Fandom: Charmed - Chris
Characters: Chris, Lila (OFC)
Prompt: 57. Lunch at fanfic100
Word Count: 1,651
Rating: PG
Author's Notes: I should probably come up with a title for the A/U verse this fits into, but as of now, this is a sequel to The Reveal. Much love to tinylegacies for the beta work. Feedback always appreciated...

Didn’t Know I Was Lost ‘Til You Found Me

Chris sat down at the table and forced himself to get a grip. He took a few deep breathes, trying to calm his nerves, and kept himself from orbing out of the restaurant before she appeared. After all, lunch was his idea. Okay, more like Phoebe’s not-so-subtle suggestions to make up with Lila. Chris wanted to fix things with her, to make her understand that no matter how trustworthy someone might seem it was a danger to out himself as a witch. He needed to make her comprehend that.

That scared him more than anything. He was getting too attached to things in this life – his mother, his aunts, a version of Wyatt that didn’t try to kill him (unless deadly diapers counted – and he tended to avoid such things because...ew), and a neighbor like Lila. He had made a life for himself in his own past and that wasn’t good. It would have to end. He had to go back to the future after everything was fixed, and hopefully before his mother popped mini-Chris out.

“Oh, if the look on your face is a sign of where this lunch is heading, I’m not sure I want to stick around.”

Chris looked up and Lila’s body was blurred by the bright sun. Chris squinted, a small smile forming at the corners of his lips, and motioned to the empty seat across from him. He said, “I’m glad you came, Lila.”

She glanced from him to the chair before taking a seat. She put her purse on the table and started to tap her fingers. When she caught Chris watching her fingers, she moved them to her long blonde hair. She pushed the hair away from her face, twirling her fingers through the strands. She offered him a weak smile and said, “I wasn’t sure I was going to show up, but I have some questions.”

“I’m not sure I can answer them.”

“Chris…”

“This lunch wasn’t about...” Chris paused, searching for the right words to keep her from bolting. God, he hated the idea of her walking out of his life like that. And he hated those feelings more than anything. A part of him felt like he betrayed Bianca’s memory every time he thought about Lila, another part simply knew how complicated this would make things (technically, Lila was way older than he was), and another part realized that he would be putting her in more and more danger with every nugget of information he revealed. Chris couldn’t do that – he had enough blood on his hands.

Chris sighed after a few seconds, words still failing him. He forced himself to meet her gaze, and it surprised him to see that she was calm. Her blue eyes weren’t full of the rage they were the last time they had been together and her posture was one of neither fear nor anger, but rather expectance.

“Chris, you can talk to me. I’m not going to run away or cry out for help or write you off as some lunatic,” she replied. She leaned forward in her chair and added, “I’ve seen a lot of unexplainable things as I’ve gotten older. A lot of it scared the hell out of me. It’s actually nice to know that there are people out there, like you and your friends, that save the day.”

“I wish it were that simple.”

“It is that simple, but you’re too stubborn to admit it.”

“I shouldn’t be doing this,” Chris said. He shook his head, as though his brain was water logged, and muttered, “This was a mistake.”

“Oh?”

“Yes...no...I didn’t want you to hate me. That’s why I asked you to meet me. And that was wrong. I should’ve let you hate me.”

“Huh?”

“Because you’d be safe and I wouldn’t have to worry about another complication—“

Lila snapped her head up and folded her arms. She said, “Like the complications you caused my life when I saved your ass? I lied to the FBI to help you. And why did I do that? Because you widened those pretty green eyes and promised that you were the good guy and that everything would be taken care of. And for some reason, I trusted you, Chris. I’m still not sure why I did that.”

“I’m not sure why I’ve done a lot of things since I’ve gotten here,” Chris said. He swallowed down a large gulp of water and said, “I came to town with one purpose – to keep the Halliwells safe and to stop some evil force from turning baby Wyatt evil.”

“What?”

“You wanted information,” Chris snapped. He took a deep breath and rushed out, “Sorry, I’m just—I’m trying to make you understand why…how bad...ugh...I really suck at this.” Chris frowned when Lila started to chuckle, her whole body shaking as she did so. He pouted, “This isn’t funny, Lila.”

“You’re right, but your face was…” her voice trailed off as her laughter grew louder, garnering the attention of the other customers.

He wanted to throttle her. She didn’t seem to understand the meaning of inconspicuous. In fact, he would’ve throttled her had his own body not betrayed him with a fit of laughter. The two of them made some pair in that moment, laughing like hyenas for no real reason except to release tension.

After the giggles subsided, Lila managed, “I’m sorry. You were trying to explain something to me.”

“Badly.”

“Yes, but go on.”

“I’m not from around here, Lila. I came here for a specific purpose and once I’ve accomplished what I came here to do, I’m leaving.”

“So don’t leave.”

Chris frowned. “I wish that was possible. Sometimes I think about it…how bad could it be if I stuck around? But I don’t belong here. This isn’t my home.”
“I’m not trying to get you to stay for me, Chris.”

Chris pretended that remark didn’t cut through him. He reminded himself that he didn’t care about her like that, that he couldn’t allow the fact that she had a killer smile and the perfect laugh to mess him up. He replied, “I know that. It’s not...things are so different here from where I come from. And to have…it’s going to be hard enough to leave, Lila, and I don’t want to have to worry about you.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“Not against demons you can’t. And they’re as protective of the secrets of magic as any witch. If they found out that you knew about them, they would eliminate you. As it is, I’ve had to make Piper and my aunts…” Chris groaned the moment the words were out of his mouth. If he didn’t know better he would think that Lila had put some spell on him, one where he couldn’t stop from telling her the truth. Unfortunately, this was all him and his stupid mouth.

“Aunts?” Lila repeated. She stared at him for a few seconds before asking, “Who are we talking about now?”

“Can we forget I said anything?”

“No.”

“It’s complicated.”

Lila dropped her napkin on the table and said, “That’s your lame answer for everything.”

Chris glared at her. “It’s not lame, it’s the truth.”

“Doesn’t make it any less lame.”

“I can’t believe that I let Phoebe convince me it might’ve been fate that we met that day and you agreed to cover for us. I don’t believe in fate, but I allowed her to fill my brain with all this...crap,” Chris replied. He slammed his hand down on the table and leaned forward. He said, “Lame or not, anything I tell you could have dire consequences.”

“So why am I here?”

“I told you.”

“You told me part of it.”

“Lila, I wish I could tell you everything. I wish I could be the type of guy who shared his every thought and—it’s not me. I’m a loner. It has to be that way.”

“Because it’s complicated?”

“Right.”

“And you’re lame?”

Chris rolled his eyes. “It’s like talking to a brick wall.”

“Hey pot, you’re black.”

Lila mimicked his position, leaning forward until their foreheads were almost touching. The smell of perfume coming off her skin nearly undid him. His hands got sweaty and his legs slumped against the chair. Chris wasn’t sure what was going on – was this some cosmic joke – but he had to get away before he couldn’t stop himself from a horrible mistake.

And doing anything with Lila would be a horrible mistake.

“Lunch was a bad idea,” Chris said. He went into his pocket and pulled out a twenty. Though they hadn’t ordered, he dropped it on the table, before standing up and shrugging into his jacket. He forced his gaze on the sun rays pouring down on the street in front of him. He added, in nothing more than a sigh, “I’m sorry, Lila.”

Lila reached out and grabbed onto his hand. She looked up at him expectantly and replied, “Chris, please talk to me. I care about you. You’re my friend, and this secret of yours, I don’t care.”

Chris chuckled, but unlike earlier there was no amusement in his voice. He gritted his teeth and said, “I care about you too. That’s the problem.” He allowed his hand to move to her cheek and linger there for a second. He shook his head and said, “I’ve gotta go.”

He didn’t give her a chance to say anything. He rushed out of the restaurant and around the corner. He found an empty alley and orbed back to the manor before she could catch up with him. Chris couldn’t let the floral scent of her skin or her smile or her infuriating personality interfere with his duty to his family. No matter how much a part of him longed to.

{/Fin}