tommygirl | It's In Those Moments

Title: It's In Those Moments
Author: Tommygirl/

storydivagirl
Fandom: Supernatural, Sam & Dean Gen Fic
Summary: Sam realizes what memories matter.
Warnings: Slightest spoilers through Nightmare
A/N: Much love to

ladybug218 for the super speedy beta work and assurance that this is readable. This was written for

picfor1000 challenge. Exactly 1000 words and that was harder than it looked. Feedback always appreciated!

When Sam was at college, whenever anyone asked him about his family, he would offer up only one story of his favorite day. While they were traveling (because traveling sounded much more normal than hunting, and all Sam wanted from his new friends was to be seen as normal), his father had taken him and his brother to this park. In all of Sam’s eight years of life, it was the most beautiful place he had ever been to. There were trees, slowly losing their leaves, surrounded by long blades of green grass, that sprawled out around them as far as the eye could see.

His father had picked a spot at the edge of the trees, partially shadowed before opening up into a huge field radiating sunlight. Sam remembered kicking through the leaves with his brother and laughing as Dean tackled him to the ground and nearly forgetting who his family was and what made them so damn different. On that fall afternoon, they were a regular family, a dad out playing catch with his two sons.

Sam always left the end of the story off, choosing to say, “Then we got back on the road and drove to our destination.” It sounded much better than the truth of the matter, which was rushing off at dusk to burn the bones of a particularly ornery ghost.

Funny thing is, looking back on it, it’s hardly Sam’s favorite memory of his family. It probably wouldn’t even make the top five because, the more time he spends back on the road with his brother, the more he understands that there are things that matter more than normality. Like how Dean always took care of him when he was hurt or sick, making Sam laugh until he forgot the pain. Like how, when he was much younger, his father would pull Sam onto his lap and they would do research together – his father never laughing at Sam’s ideas, no matter how crazy they were. Like the expression on Dean’s face whenever Sam made a stupid joke, something between worried about his dorky brother’s sanity and actually amused.

Sam realizes that the memory from the park, while a nice moment in his life, hardly does his family or his feelings for them justice. Of course, that’s why he always felt comfortable sharing it. No one would hear that story about the park and think that Sam is overly-attached to his brother or that his father is the most stubbornly-determined person in the world. No one would look at Sam and see how much he really missed his family, missed Dean, because they were normal brothers who grew up and went their separate ways, like most brothers did.

“You okay over there?”

Sam turns his head away from the window and glances at his brother in the driver’s seat. Dean’s wearing his typical expression of late, the one that’s a mixture of worry, fear, and almost expectance at discovering that Sam has grown a second head. Sam shrugs because it’s the answer he thinks Dean would prefer.

“That’s not an answer, Sammy.”

“I was thinking about that day in the park with dad.”

Sam sees Dean’s mind working to recall the memory and Dean says, “You’ll have to elaborate on that. There were lots of trips to the park with dad.”

“No, there weren’t.”

“Is this your latest childhood pain? Not enough playgrounds in your childhood, buddy?”

Sam rolls his eyes and resists the urge to slug his brother. He settles for punching his fist into his own thigh. He shakes his head. “There were plenty of playgrounds, Dean, but you were the one who took me, not Dad.”

“Whatever, dude. He had work to do. Even normal dads have work.”

Sam knows his brother is baiting him. It’s screwed up Dean logic – stupid spats between him and Sam means that everything’s okay and what else do the two of them fight about, really, except their father? Sam sighs. He’s not in the mood for this. He wants his brother to tell him that they’re going to find their father and the thing that killed Jessica and that he’s not turning into some monster.

“Sam...is this really about a freaking day at the park? Because the look in your eyes says different.”

“The look in my eyes?”

Dean shrugs. “I’m not completely unobservant and I notice that woe-is-me-I-might-grow-horns look in your eyes.”

“Would you shut up about the horns?” Sam replies. As Dean opens his mouth to respond, Sam adds, “And don’t mention tails or glass eyes or Harry fucking Potter either or I’ll throw out your Metallica tapes.”

“Someone’s in a foul mood.”

“Because someone puts him in a foul mood.”

“And now you’re talking about yourself in the third person. Sure everything’s okay, Sammy?”

Sam glares at his brother – to think he was actually considering how much he had missed his brother while he was away – before focusing back on the road. He takes a deep breath and says, “I’m fine, Dean.”

“You know I won’t let anything happen to you. No matter what. Not ever.”

Sam keeps his gaze on the window. He’s not sure what to say to that. He knows his brother is telling the truth. Even if Dean didn’t prove that on a nearly daily basis, it’s something Sam has grown up believing. His brother would move mountains and slay monsters and whatever else to keep Sam safe. Sam’s only starting to grasp how much he took that for granted before, how he knew that he could go off to college and ignore his brother for years…because Dean would always be there for him.

Suddenly, Sam wishes more than anything that he had explained Dean to Jessica, about what Dean meant to him, rather than sharing some anecdote involving a trip to the park with his family on a brisk fall day.

Sam forces his eyes to meet his brother’s gaze and replies, “I know, Dean. I know.”