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tommygirlSam knew one thing for certain – his brother would definitely be whining about “chick flick” moments if he was aware of what was going on around him.
When they were brought in, the doctors had rushed Dean off to surgery, dropping words like “internal bleeding” and “ruptured spleen” and none of it sounded good. John was sent for tests and Sam was left alone in the emergency room. It was two sets of x-rays and one cast later before he even got the vaguest information on his brother’s condition.
“He’s holding his own. Your brother’s a strong one,” the surgeon had said with wonder. You don’t know the half of it, Sam had thought, but settled for a nod and polite “thank you” for the information. He shut his eyes against the burning sensation and felt the tension in his muscles relax a little. Dean was holding his own and right then, that was enough to keep Sam going.
It was late the next morning before Sam or his father was allowed to see Dean. Both he and his father had been returned to their own rooms several times throughout the night as they sat outside the door of the ICU. The nurses had given them baffling looks and wheeled them back to their rooms, threatening them with sedation.
Before they were taken into Dean’s room, they were warned that Dean’s injuries were extensive – ranging from a collapsed lung to a concussion to a removed spleen – and that when Dean woke up, he was going to be in a lot of pain. But the doctors seemed sure that Dean would wake up and that was all that mattered to Sam.
That didn’t mean that Sam wasn’t a wreck, worries coursing through him that maybe the doctors had missed something or that the demon would sneak in and finish Dean off if Sam shut his eyes.
Sam’s hand wrapped tightly around Dean’s, careful not to pull at the IV or any of the wires attached to him, as he attempted to keep his fears at bay. He reminded himself that Dean needed him right now, but he still couldn’t keep the stupid tears from falling. He wasn’t a girl for god’s sake, he could hear Dean muttering at him, but Sam didn’t care. He couldn’t lose his brother, not then, not when things were starting to feel right between them again…not when they were back to being able to joke around and torment each other again…not when the four years they were apart finally didn’t feel like such a huge gap between them.
His father wasn’t helping anything either. Sam wasn’t used to seeing his father like this, so broken and unsure of things. John sat on the other side of Dean’s bed and kept running his fingers through Dean’s hair, reminiscing about things he and Dean used to do together when Dean was little. Sam would occasionally glance across the bed and meet his father’s gaze and he almost didn’t recognize the man sitting there. This was a John that Sam knew existed, the one that came out on rare occasions and the one that Dean would talk about for hours if you got him drunk enough, but a John that he wasn’t accustomed to being around. Sam didn’t know how to behave around this version of his father. Mostly, it scared the hell out of him. If his father, the man who didn’t blink an eye when Dean nearly lost his leg to a werewolf, was worried, then Dean was worse off than Sam imagined.
Despite what that damn demon had said to Dean, Sam needed his brother. Sam knew that his family would fall apart without his brother. He held them together.
“Sammy, why don’t you let the nurses take you back to your room, son. You need the rest.”
Sam sighed and shook his head. “I’m fine. You’re the one on the heavy medication. And you’re putting too much stress on your leg.”
“Yeah, but I’m his father.”
“So? I’m his brother.”
“And you’re hurt.”
Sam rolled his eyes. “Just because you refused the wheelchair with a lot of yelling doesn’t mean you aren’t hurt.”
“Sam…”
“Dad, Dean needs to know we’re here for him. Both of us. That demon…it said horrible things.”
“They were lies.”
Sam frowned and said, “Were they?”
“Sam, of course. You know what demons are like,” his father replied in a raised voice. Upon the looks from nurses at the desk, he cleared his throat and whispered, “They take things and twist them around.”
“We take him for granted, Dad. We expect that Dean will be there, that he’ll do what we need him to.”
“Your brother knows that we love him, Sam. And Dean knows better than to believe anything a demon says.”
“It doesn’t mean he doesn’t think it’s true on some level.”
John ran his hand over his face and then reached his other hand across the bed and patted Sam’s arm. He said, “Let’s focus on your brother’s health right now.”
Sam moved his gaze back to his brother. He fought the sleepy pull behind his eyelids – no damn way he was leaving Dean’s side – and said, “You’re going to have to talk to him about the things the demon did when he was…you.”
“Dammit Sam.”
“I know how much Dean fears discussing his feelings, but the two of you can’t just sweep it under the rug like everything else.”
John let out a slow breath and Sam almost expected his father to yell at him. Instead John ran his hand over his face and said, “I’ll do what’s best for Dean.”
“Dean will try to get out of it.”
“Sam, I do actually know your brother.”
“Fine.”
Sam could feel his father’s eyes on him as John asked, “Does that mean…are you…did you want to talk about something?”
“What?”
“Things were said between us at the cabin and in the car.”
“Things are always said between us,” Sam replied. He shook his head and said, “I just want you to focus on Dean, Dad. I want you to stop treating him like one of your soldiers and make him realize that he matters. He’s not going to listen if it comes from me.”
John focused his gaze on Dean and despite all his psychic abilities, Sam couldn’t read his father’s face. John cleared his throat and said, “Let’s take one thing at a time. Let’s get Dean through the next couple of days first.”
“Yeah.”
“You need to get some rest. Your brother will worry if he sees you looking like that.”
“I’m not tired.”
“That’s why you can barely keep your eyes open.”
“Dad, I don’t want to leave him.”
“I’ll have a nurse wake you up the second anything changes, Sammy. You’re no use to your brother if you don’t take care of yourself.”
Logically, his father made sense and Sam knew that Dean’s first words would probably be of the “you look like crap” variety, but it didn’t make the idea of going back to his room any easier to swallow. He had this gnawing feeling that if he left his brother’s side something bad would happen.
His father seemed to understand and said, “I’m not going to let that demon get anywhere near him, Sam.” John moved closer to Dean and said, “How about we take turns? We could both use some sleep and someone should be here with Dean.”
“I thought you were the dad?” Sam replied with a raised eyebrow.
“Yeah, and as the dad it’s my job to do what’s best for all of us. You need sleep. I’ll take the first shift and see if I can’t set up some sort of protection for the room.”
Sam nodded and stood up, wheeling his IV bag along behind him, and went over to the nurse’s desk to let them know he was ready to head back to his room. He glanced back at his brother and told himself that everything was going to be okay.
a. Sam wakes up to good news about his brother.
b. Sam has nightmares and finds himself back at his brother's bedside.
