Here I Am

This morning my mother scared the bleep out of me. As I came into the kitchen this morning on the way to work, she stood up, turned toward me and said, "I have some bad news for you."

"What?"

"Christopher Bowman died. I know how much you loved him."

Good LORD, woman! I thought someone in our family was dead or hurt, not an ice skater I was obsessed with when I was 12.

Though it is sad that he's dead, it's not something that I really needed to have thrown at me first thing on my way to work when I'm barely awake.

And yes, most of my early crushes were male figure skaters. Even at an early age, I preferred the gay boys in sparkly clothes.

**

One day I will catch back up on my friends list and fannish activities. I'm hoping this weekend I can focus on some things. I'm also pondering whether or not to partake in this year's SPN/J2 big bang. I think it would be a good thing to try, but I'm not sure I can guarantee that many words will be done in time. And I'll need to ponder some thoughts that could be long and interesting, not just "Sam is jealous of everyone who looks at pretty Dean."

I really love when I bring up something environmental and people give me weird looks. I stopped at the supermarket on my way into work and I use the canvas reuseable bags. I picked another one up.

Cashier: So you want to use these instead?
Me: that's the point of them
Cashier: oh... (stares at me) okay then...

First, they sell the canvas bags right there in the supermarket. I can't be the first to actually USE them. Second, you'd think I was Ed Begley Jr. talking about riding a stationary bicycle to generate enough energy to toast my bread with the way this cashier was looking at me. Good Lord. It's a canvas bag not a solar-paneled car. It's something small that I can do so that trees don't have to die for the paper kind and so landfills don't have to be further overrun with plastic.

And this isn't everyone. It's mostly my mother who claims I'm a hippy zealot because I get mad at people who have to light up their whole house for Christmas (energy crisis should not mean making your house visible from Mars - and it's ugly) and yell at her all the time about how much water/energy/etc she wastes.


**

thank the lord it's friday. Today's holiday drabble will be coming this afternoon. right now I'm doing evil updates to my work website that take forever and a day. Argh. Thank god for dreamweaver is all I have to say.

So this afternoon at the end of my lunch hour, I managed to spill my large soda all over me, the chair, and the floor. It went everywhere, especially all over me to the point that I had to take a few hours of personal time in order to come home, shower and change. Decided it best not to go back for the last hour.

Then our internet went down until just about fifteen minutes ago.

So I ended up succumbing and watching the ITunes free gift of Supernatural season three premiere. Don't worry, my review won't come until tomorrow as I'm about to go to bed and wish this day away. Then get up early enough to watch SPN again.

Seriously, y'all, the cosmos is conspiring against me.

So originally coming off the mini-vacation/birthday fun of last weekend, I had plans to just relax and try to catch up on many fannish things this weekend. Mostly, I wanted to finish the damn story 'o doom that is just not ending...but my family has thwarted me on both days of the weekend so far.

Yesterday my mother dragged me shopping...she offered to get my luggage for my upcoming trip to LA (winchestercon is getting closer) as I threw out my old suitcase when I moved last year. As a poor person, I could not resist the promise of free things. But we were out forever because the woman kept adding on places to go. And I'm not a mall person because most people are rude and stupid, never a good combination, and I just wanted to sleep. Gone for most of the day. I did pick up a few things - NCIS season 2 and Serenity collector's edition - on our many travels, but last night I couldn't help but wonder where my whole day went.

Then today, I was going to run to Target with my sister and then just relax, maybe get caught up on more of the stuff kicking it on my dvr. But my little bit called me to see if we could hang out. Here's the thing, as her parents damn well know, I cannot say "no" to my little bit. She's the cutest seven year old in the world and it's my job to spoil her. So she called to see if we could *finally* go see Hairspray. So we did that and then because my little bit is the only person who doesn't mock my Nsync love, we came back to my house and danced about to the No Strings Attached album. But after dropping her off and picking up some dinner, dude, it was after eight. Where the hell did my day go?

So yes, I'm about to collapse for the night because I'm tired and want to watch the last Army Wives and cry that I have to wait yet another week for more Burn Notice...but here's to hoping tomorrow I can be fannish. I miss being fannish. I feel like I haven't read fic in forever and my writing is coming at snail's pace (mostly because I keep writing these fucking stories that make War & Peace look short) - it's full of woes.

Not full of woes? The new friends I've made from wendy's Supernatural friending meme! Woo-hoo! I love new friends!

So this morning began with me not noticing I was wearing sneakers with my business clothes until I was at the office. Fortunately, my boss is on vacation so it wasn't a huge crisis, but just a perfect example of how my day started.

Then it dragged until lunch.

And then I decided to run to Target because I needed laundry detergent and shampoo.

And proceeded to fall down in the detergent aisle.

In front of two workers who made me fill out an accident report even though I knew it was all me and my idiocy and I just wanted to go crawl off.

So I managed to mess up my ankle again. I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow morning, who will just roll his eyes because I do this sort of thing fairly often (those who've been around for awhile know this to be true).

Because I hadn't planned to leave work for the day after my late lunch, I left my notebook and the Jessica Darling book on my desk. Argh. I started the next Nora Roberts in the Chesapeake Bay Saga, but really this is how I end up reading ten books at once.

**

Target had Smallville season five, along with all three seasons of One Tree Hill and first season of Supernatural (in case you were waiting to own it) on sale for 19.99...but I had to be strong. Mostly because my birthday is in two weeks and I really don't feel like hearing everyone bitch at me for buying myself stuff before my birthday. Even if I've never mentioned my secret desire to own the first three seasons of OTH, it is something that will just piss people off, so I must be good until the end of the month.

Dammit.

**

Before I scoot off, everyone should head over to shay_renoylds' journal as she is hosting a Songs of Love Meme!. Not only can you get love, but MUSIC. My name is there, so feel free to share the love via music. I'll try to return the favor (seriously, anyone know an easy way to get around I Tunes protected files? It's so annoying).

I really did have plans for this weekend to do fun fannish things like read lots of fic, write, and get most of my beta work done (jellicle: I'm about halfway through the Charmed ficlets! I have not forgotten you, darling!). Instead, I've been lazy all day today and yesterday was little bit & me time.

We saw Nancy Drew, which was so much fun, and now my little bit wants to become a super sleuth of her own. She wants to borrow my books, but I'm not sure she's quite ready for them - she's not even eight yet and she's still into Ramona...but we'll see.

But yes, Emma Roberts was wonderful as Nancy and I really enjoyed the mystery. I also loved how Nancy tried to be "normal" for her dad and for herself, but in the end she had to be true to herself. And I don't know if it's a conscious choice on Emma Roberts' part or not, but she takes these roles in movies that I think are great for young girls. If you haven't seen Aquamarine, I highly recommend it. It's so cute and has a great message.

Then we went to lunch at McDonalds (she is a cheap date) and she played on the playground...and then we went to the Rag Shop because they're going out of business. I got a bunch of knitting stuff really cheap and Ellen is now undertaking cross stitching for kids. They had all these premade sets for kids for 1.00 each...she is very excited. She said she would do them at the pool like her mom does.

How is one seven year old so damn cute?

Anyone have the Nancy Drew soundtrack? I want it and so does the little bit.

**

Today I really haven't done much. I've read, watched some of season two of West Wing (my favorite season), and napped. I quite enjoy lazy days, but at the same time, I get to thinking about all the writing and reading I want to accomplish and feel like I've wasted my day away for no reason.

**

And then I was wondering, is there a book fanfiction archive type place? Sorta like Steph and I created with moviefanfiction but for fanfiction based on books? Because I was thinking, "Self, there really should be a community for that!" Mostly because while chatting to my best friend about Rob Thurman's books, I decided someone needs to write some Cal & Niko fic! And I always want Twilight fic! And don't forget Meg Cabot or Megan McCafferty's characters!

So yeah, does such a place exist? Or should I be my normal idiot self and make one? Any interest in such a place?

**

Tonight Hunted is on CW. I love this episode. I love Ava and how well she works with Sam. I love Dean. I worry for Dean when he thinks he's lost everything that matters. And I love Sammy and how he outsmarts Gordon and how his first thought is to just rest his hand on his brother shoulder to say, "I'm okay. I'm okay."

And really, I love this show way too much.